what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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