These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
