I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
