Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
