Michael Bay diarrhea
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
