So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
