you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
