Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize