what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
