Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
