He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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