the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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