You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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