It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
