just come out here and I will go home with you...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
