Having a random hookup so left but love u
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i drank out of a bidet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
