We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
