saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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