Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize