due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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