You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
