I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
