Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so let's talk penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize