you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
