I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
