I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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