Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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