we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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