WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
