And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
