dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize