i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
