That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
