yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
