piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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