were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
me + whiskey = a bad person
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize