whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
