So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
