kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
