You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
