I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize