I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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