My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
