They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
