i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
