I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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