plz talk dirty to me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize