He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
