Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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