hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The air was thick with penises
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
