no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
