hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
