dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize