..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
