im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
