she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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