so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
