Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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