Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
