So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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