There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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