I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
